My simplicity - +

Mon, 22 Nov 2004 00:00:35 GMT

New screen name. ;DD. I find my new one to be much more appealing to me.

My new one is _accidentpronex

Go me?

<3
Abfel.

Maybe.

Wed, 17 Nov 2004 02:51:43 GMT

I want to create a new LJ account, this one reminds me of too many things and people. I want a new one, more personalized than the current one. Of course, I have to wait until I retrieve my mouse from the thing I call mother, so, of course, I'll just have to wait, won't I?

I miss you love, please come home. <333.

<3
Abfel.

<3

Sat, 13 Nov 2004 20:12:01 GMT

As we were on the phone, both of our voices started to fade away. I heard him breathing on the phone. It comforted me. I laid on my bed, simply smiling to myself.. Then I started feelng tired. I tried to stay awake, I really tried. I have never fallen asleep on the phone before. I just have never felt so close to a person ever in my life like that before.
I love you so much. Words can't even express what I feel about you. You're everything to me. I love you. <3

Faeries > Ninjas > Pirates.

<3
Abfel.

Sun, 31 Oct 2004 22:57:59 GMT

Now that I have my head straight.

I need to quit this bullshit now. I need to tell him. I need to tell him what a failure I've become. It's just.. He has no time. I love him.. I have a lot of patience when it comes o the boy I love. I need to expose to him the fool I've become. Making the wrong choices. I hope he understands. I won't do it again.

I know I won't this time.

I might just as well turn myself in.

If I do it again. Because then it wouldn't be casual. It would be addiction. Even if it wasn't. I can't go on like this, breaking promises to the one I love is the breaking of my own heart.

I should stop doing mistakes and making up excuses. I should stop blaming it on others, and take responsibilities for my own actions. It should be as easy for me to say yes than to say no.

I broke the promise. I shall clean it up. Start all over again.

I'm sorry.

<3
Abfel

Sun, 31 Oct 2004 21:09:43 GMT

Mhhm.. I'm at Sunset. o.0;

I have NO idea how to open the AIM on this thing... Oh well. I should this guy over there... I'll write leter.

<3Abfel

Pictures?

Sun, 24 Oct 2004 20:12:17 GMT

Woo.. Picures... Took them last night.. You aren't able to see my purple hair though, which sucks. ;[[

They suckkk.. Oh well.

<3
Abfel

-Frown-

Sun, 24 Oct 2004 02:52:20 GMT

The witch took away my mouse and computer.. Nothing really has happened.. Okay, maybe two things. Other than me not having a life.. And avoiding everything, things have gone alright.

I met WG for the first time.. -Gasp- It was funny.. o.o;

10/8/04 = official best day of my life.. I love you MM <33333.

Tomorrow.. Is the anniversary of an old friend's death.. Luige.. -Frown-. Cancer should be destroyed... -Sigh- 1 year.

That's really all there is to say. I just won't be on for a while.

E-mail me if anything, I check my E-mail about once a week. DistinctMemory@yahoo.com

Sun, 03 Oct 2004 00:41:11 GMT

Wow.. Today was fun.

Now.

For the day to be perfect.

I want my loved one online.

I miss him so much.

<3
Abfel.

Tue, 28 Sep 2004 22:58:43 GMT

I am
VERY

happy.

I just am. Ever though, I feel as if I have not had a good sleep in a long time... It doesn't matter.

I'm happy.

I just am.

<3
Abfel.

Oh goodie..

Sun, 26 Sep 2004 22:08:32 GMT

Fantastic! Another boring day of what kids? Nothing! Nothing to see, nothing to do, nothing to say. How lovely, isn't it?

My mother has not worked for two days. It is driving me insane, I hate it when she's home.

I hate the way they made this new entry page, it's annoying. I'd like the old one back, it's easier. :||.

I lose.

<3
Abfel.

;\\

Fri, 24 Sep 2004 00:39:03 GMT

I feel right more than ever. At this moment.. I have not felt this distance.. Since the day I decided to leave him.. -Sighs deeply-.

Thu, 23 Sep 2004 01:01:23 GMT

The bottom of my thumb is bleeding. I don't really care. Really, all I care about is that I feel he is slowly leaving me. Slowly... One day.. Maybe we won't talk anymore. It hurts to listen to myself but it's true. I have this huge feeling in my gut it will be soon, too. -Sigh-

xo?

Wed, 22 Sep 2004 02:03:51 GMT

A better day? Guess so.

Tue, 21 Sep 2004 01:00:09 GMT

... And I still sit here and pretend everything is alright..

-Sigh-

Sun, 19 Sep 2004 22:11:27 GMT

When you aren't here, the days feel longer. I try to occupy myself.. But I look at the clock.. And I see only one minute passed. It feels like I have been waiting my whole life for you. You gave me the time you will come home from work. I sit here and stare at the clock.. Watching every minute go bye. I doubt you feel the same.
I really miss you, love. <333

<3
Abfel.

Oh goodie

Sun, 19 Sep 2004 17:42:55 GMT

End of another friendship. Let's sit and continue to sway, and move on with our lives.

I'm annoying. I'll never change.

<3
Abfel.

AB and J

Sun, 19 Sep 2004 02:24:16 GMT

Silly AB and J <333

AB: J: you are not on battle net. did you get upset?.
AB: I'm trying to be the marital counsellor for S and C.
AB: C*
AB: I'm trying to get them back togehter :\
J: oh on! what a catastrophy! quik! use your special forces to subdue this vile occurance of hart breaking subsiquences
J: you take care of the matter at hand directly from the sorce. Im going to check the lasagna
AB: Lol.. Lasagna excites you doesn't it? Because you seem to get hyper anytime you go to check on it...
AB: Lmfao.
J: whats this you say? exciting? this is a serious matter! prepare yourself shaiwave nukular blast AB! for I kung fu pow master man J! is going to sit here and wait
AB: Lmfao...
AB: x_x
AB: Man.... I hope... I'm doing a good job.
AB:

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Silly AB and J <333

AB: J: you are not on battle net. did you get upset?.
AB: I'm trying to be the marital counsellor for S and C.
AB: C*
AB: I'm trying to get them back togehter :\
J: oh on! what a catastrophy! quik! use your special forces to subdue this vile occurance of hart breaking subsiquences
J: you take care of the matter at hand directly from the sorce. Im going to check the lasagna
AB: Lol.. Lasagna excites you doesn't it? Because you seem to get hyper anytime you go to check on it...
AB: Lmfao.
J: whats this you say? exciting? this is a serious matter! prepare yourself shaiwave nukular blast AB! for I kung fu pow master man J! is going to sit here and wait
AB: Lmfao...
AB: x_x
AB: Man.... I hope... I'm doing a good job.
AB: <_<
AB: XD
J: have you used your microwave heat disc of doom?
AB: <_<
AB: Uhh...
AB: >_>
AB: Rofl...

<3
Abfel.

Random.

Sat, 18 Sep 2004 21:42:13 GMT

Over. Turn. Down.

This convo on palace was so random. It was with War and some random.. Thing..

Ghosty: g-g-g-ghosty want f-f-frrriieeennnddd....
War: that depends.
War: will you f*** me?
Ghosty: y-y-you b-b-be ghosty's fffrrriieeennnddd?
War: will you f*** me?
Ghosty: i am a ghost...ill only go r-r-riigghhtttt thrrroouugghhh yoouuu...
War: ah. you suck. these ghosts are cooler.
Ghosty: f-f-finneee.... ghosty needs to find his v-v-viiiaaggrraaaa tttthheennn..
War: tar tar
War: hah
War: its a horny ghost o.o
Ghosty: ghosty will just stay here...and if i were horney..I WOUILDNT NEED VIAGRA
Ghosty: GOD!
War: LIAR
Ghosty: DUMBASS!

Ghosty lost. ;[[.

<3
Abfel.

?!?!??!...

Sat, 18 Sep 2004 04:21:31 GMT

Well.. I couldn't say it was such a bad day... Right after school, me and AS walked to the bus stop. We stayed there in the hot sun, for three hours. Great. Well, we finally decided the bus wasn't going to pass by, so we started walking to Miller Drive. THEN IT PASSED US. We had to run to the next bus stop, the guy was actually nice enough to wait for us.

Then we went on the bus.. We were all "YAYAYYAY. WE ARE DOING SOMETHING." We got to Sunset Place, my heart rose. I needed to find B?. First, we had to find Coc and her boyfriend.. I didn't know these her or her boyfriend. I got to know them. Coc is so ditzy! It was kind of cute, I guess, to a point. She was messed up.

Well, her boyfriend decided to see a movie. I really only wanted to see Ghost in the Shell 2: innocence. I had no money. So yeah. Well, there is this computer place there, where you can go online for four dollars. Coc went on, and she was talking with some guy and he said for us to meet him at The Falls. I was like.. "LET ME GET ON AND TELL W!".. Well, she signed off. We went on the metro-rail to The Falls.. We saw the guy, but he already had to go.

Then Coc started acting stupid. This nice kid had weed. When he took it out.. Both my friends were all "LET ME HAVE. LET ME HAVE NOW.." The kid said no. I told them my mother was going to pick us up. Then Coc decides she wants to meet up with her boyfriend. AS told her not to. She went anyway, and AS said "FINE!".. So I just sat there. Then SHE goes running. I'm the "WHAT THE HELL" Then she goes.. "I LOVE HER..." talk about drama.. So I sat there and talked with the three random boys. The kid offered me some, I can't say I wasn't tempted.. But I said no. his face popped into my head. I can't break the promise.. No way. I love him too much. <33.

Thu, 16 Sep 2004 23:30:03 GMT

Funny how everything changed since this summer.

Everything.

You have no idea, how weird it is to see them pass by the hall everyday. Then to not say a word.

They thought they left me with some form of weakness.

I feel stronger than ever.

weird how music makes me think crazy things such as these.

dot dot dot

Thu, 16 Sep 2004 21:17:40 GMT

dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot

Thank you SO much for making me feel better.. I appreciate it. -Gives a sarcastic smile- Remember that? Honestly, I don't even know what to tell you anymore to make you feel better. I have no idea.

Anyway. Today, I found out I have a smaller brother. Or at least the papers say so. His name is Julio (Julian). My dad says he doesn't know if it his his or not. Either way, I'm still going to say he is my brother. He will be a year old in August.

I went to the doctors today. I learned something. That man is going to die soon, and he types awfully slow.

Thanks.

<3
Abfel.

Jesus..

Wed, 15 Sep 2004 22:57:20 GMT

Why does it have to be this way?

Why can't I simply just live my life the way I want to live it?

Why can people let me live my life the way I want to live it?

Because I can't be satisfied until they are.

Funny how I could still sit back and pretend everything is alright.

That's just me.

<3

Abfel.

apology..

Tue, 14 Sep 2004 23:35:55 GMT

I'm sorry, but I love MM and you know that... Not even the distance could stop me. I'm sorry, but I will never see you that way. I don't even know what I did for you to feel that way (the only thing I really do is listen, like I do with all my friends, not just you). I'm sorry, but I love him..

I love you so much, MM.

<3
Abfel

<3.

Sun, 12 Sep 2004 17:19:33 GMT

Last night was completely the best night in awhile. To hear his voice, to hear him fall asleep, it was amazing. He's so amazing. It felt as if he was right there with me.. But I really want him to be here with me. Though, not even distance can spoil the love I have for him.. Not now.. Or ever.

The "party" (if you can even CALL it that).. Was boring, everyone was fucked. So while I was walking home I was invited to a friends house. He tagged along. I asked him what he wanted to tell me and he said not now because of my friend. Well, either way, we watched Ghost in the Shell and Kill Bill vol. 2. It was pretty fun. It made time go by so I could talk to my loved one.

<3.
Abfel.

Why do I...

Sat, 11 Sep 2004 20:59:10 GMT

Why do I have to go to this "party"? To tell you the truth I have no idea. I promised, I promised to go, and this person told me they had to tell me something. I don't understand why they didn't tell me directly on the phone, or why couldn't they tell me while walking home from school, on the day it rained. He seems serious about the whole thing, but really, I'm not. I'm not serious of him or anything else going on over here, because all that ever goes on around here now is rumors or arguments. Most of the time, both. Then again, he has been the only one I have been able to really talk to about "the incident". Hopefully AM is there too. I'll make sure to come home very early, I honestly don't want to get caught up in what this boy gets caught up in.

Really, that's all I have to say.